Covid Day - 97

What a day! What a fucking day! Where do I start and how do I end? Had a heavy heavy heart the whole day mourning the death of my dear friend A’s mom. Aunty has been hospitalized for the last few months (within two weeks of covid) fir a brain stroke, in the icu, got back home semi recovered but went back into ICU after another stroke. She was in coma for a few weeks and passed away Saturday evening. Uncle, who was with her through the last few months was diagnosed positive with covid and was in isolation when she passed away. His brother, who eventually made it to India was in self quarantine when this happened. A and his sister don’t have an OCI care and they’re struggling to get a stupid visa to go home. 

What the fuck is this dude? How fucking unfair is this situation? How can god, who does everything for a reason, do something like this? What is the greater purpose behind something atrocious like this happening with the sweetest family I’ve known for over a decade? If this kinda shit happens to them, then what about us mere selfish mortals? My brain has been foggy all day, a lot of emotions came gushing out. I feel like a zombie. Cried a bunch of times which was good to let em all out. K was super supportive but I knew he was tense by the end of the day. So was A. He was inexplicably stuck to me today and during wanna let me out of his sight. This is probably the first time he’s seen me cry and must’ve sensed my emotions. Poor guy. He couldn’t even fall sleep very well. 

And I feel so tired, probably  have a low grade fever. And now I’m freaking out. I took 2 Advils. I really hope it’s nothing or I’ll curse myself for the rest of my life for potentially exposing my dear family and friends to covid. I hope it’s all just in my head and it’s nothing by tomorrow. Sleeping in the guest bedroom today. Will pray it’s nothing by tomorrow morning.