I just feel like I’m so stressed out and not dealing with this very well. It shouldn’t be so hard. How is everyone else dealing with this? I feel this stress will eventually impact me, and my loved ones - especially the two boys that are my life. And I understand that’s not good.
I played for half hour with A today - puzzles. And it felt really good! It really felt good cuz I stopped my kitchen work and actually sat down to play with him. Then I got up to do something and bam - my nemesis - pee pee accident 🤦♀️ And I lost it! I showed my frustration on the restroom door and A lost it. He was wailing and acting just like I did! Gosh! Then it occurred to me - that’s what I’m teaching him! That’s what he sees me do and that’s what he will learn. Good lord! I calmed myself down. Didn’t scream or seem angry. I have him a shower and fed him. But I just continue to feel yucky about not giving him as much attention as I give to work! What the fuck is it with me and work? Don’t I just simply understand priorities in my life? Why do I let my work rule my life? Why can’t it be the other way around? This is something I have to fix. If not it’s really going to have a big impact on my life. It’s my life vs work and I have to learn to see the difference. I have to learn to balance them out better. Maybe I need coaching in time management. But whatever it is - I acknowledge that I need to work on this.
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