A real person like myself
You are raising a soaring spirit, throbbing with its own signature. What you say in a moment might make or break your child’s spirit. We aren’t raising a mini me. Separate who you are from your Children. They aren’t ours to possess in any way. We need to tailor our raising to their needs, not our needs.
To connect with your children, first connect with yourself.
“Ego” is an artificial sense of ourselves. We tend to use our egoistic superiority to enforce control on children. Letting go of this egoistic self image will allow us to engage with our children as our real self.
To parent consciously it is very important to be aware of the influence of our ego. Once we detach from our expectations of how a person ‘should’ behave, we automatically demonstrate acceptance which forms a connection. Letting go of your egoism and how things ought to be or how people should act will allow you to step off your ego pedestal. You have to be able to find your true self and transform yourself to become a spiritual partner in your child’s journey. Children don’t need our ideas and expectations or our dominance and control, they just need our engaged presence. Allow your children to hold your hand and take you on a journey of being a better parent. It doesn’t mean you be your child’s minions, there have to be boundaries and the relationship should be well rounded.
The spiritual reason we birth our children
Children are able to take us deep into the remnants of our emotional past and evoke deeply unconscious feelings. It is their spiritual right to offer us a reflection of our own unconsciousness and help us break free of the clutches of our past. Conscious parenting is learnt through the actual experience of learning through the relationship we have with our children. use the parenting relationship to become conscious so we are aware of what is needed in our child’s life in the moment that an issue arises. The ability to see children separate from who we are is the greatest gift we can give them. Catch ourselves in an unconscious moment, detach free from it and develop consciousness which is not a destination but an ongoing process. Unconsciousness is not necessarily a bad thing but is a portal for the development of our consciousness.
Release your children from your need for approval
Accept your kids for who they intrinsically are. Who are we to judge them? A child’s core, essential being must be unconditionally celebrated. Our children need to grow up with the awareness that who they are is worthy of celebration. Revel in their existence without having them accomplish any thing, or prove anything. Parents should have the ability to stay connected to their inner essence through the periods when their external behavior might fall apart and that conveys to them that they are of immense value. How to do that?
Your children need to feel that just because they exist, they delight you. They don’t have to do anything to get your undivided attention. They deserve to feel that just by being born they earned the right to be adored. They will carry this inner spirit through their adulthood and won’t need to seek validation or accolades.
